“They say” there’s a birth high.
I’d have to agree.
I’ve been cruising on it for two days but today, it hit me–all of it.
My birth high went bye-bye.
Last Saturday morning, my water broke at about 4:45am.
I waited all day for my baby.
On Sunday, I waited all day and ended the night laboring hard, even pushing for a bit and fell asleep exhausted and so very, very broken-hearted.
On Monday, I woke up more tired than I think I’d ever been only to realize that I was having my baby.
And I was having it FAST.
Enter traumatic birth experience…I became a new mama….and have been happily lounging ever since.
Oh but.
With the arrival of milk has come the arrival of REALLY getting down to mothering a newborn.
Whereas before Luxe would sleep the whole day away (we’d have to wake her–a BIG no-no in this family–but she’s too tiny to sleep so long without any nourishment), now she’s got a meal plan in mind.
And even if she didn’t, my body knows the meal plan and lets me know clearly when I’ve gone too long.
Anyway, though I’m suddenly New Mommy Exhausted, I’m also really, really fortunate to have constant help here right now.
Emily has been so amazing to our family–not only caring for the kids but helping with the dishes and the laundry and the life maintenance in general.
I haven’t been out of my room much so she’s really been on her own around here.
But she knows how everything runs, she knows our life better than anyone else and she’s really changed things for me in that this is the first time I’ve been able to lay back and really and truly enjoy a new baby.
Normally, I start juggling right away.
I can think of two of my kids who were born and whisked off to soccer games by Day Two of their lives.
Not so with Luxe.
She and I have bonded and snuggled and nested like no other.
(So Em, I’m eternally grateful.
Thank you so much for all that you’re doing.)
I’m slowly coming back to life a bit around here, having joined back in family meals and tonight, I cleaned the upstairs a little.
It only hit me this evening, the night before the last day of soccer camp, that I have no idea what my boys have been doing for things like soccer socks.
I felt bad that I sort of left that hanging for everyone else because NO ONE knows where to find that stuff or really even thinks about those things than me.
But then I asked Rhyse about it, “What have you been wearing all week?” and he said dad had them in the dryer.
Which I took to mean that laundry was being done.
And then I realized that the world won’t implode if I don’t manage the damn soccer socks.
It felt good to be out of bed for a bit but after just 20 minutes or so of bustling around, I was tired and my body was telling me to get back in bed.
I’m planning to take it really easy for the remainder of the weekend then I’ll starting rejoining the world part-time next week here and there.
Certainly, I’ve never had this much time “off” before but at the same time, my demands during my time “on” have never been greater.
I feel like I’m prepping for battle or something! :)
I’m also back on Expectant–I have entries to write still but I’m also not sure I’m done blogging over there yet. I had intended to end it with the delivery but am now thinking it might be nice to continue it for awhile for Luxe, specifically.
For so long, I’ve been writing to a mystery baby and now she’s here and I can write to HER.
Who knows, maybe there’s another “book” in there somewhere… :)
