Lifelines

I was actually finishing up my “Unexpected Fun” post, trying to get that out before leaving for Chas’s game when I heard the downstairs toilet flush.
Greer had just gone potty and I thought I heard the sound of Chas in there after her.
I’d asked him before to shut the door when he’s peeing.
Not only do I think he should but he’s loud.
His pee is distracting.

But it just kept coming, that splashy pee sound.
And wow, he REALLY must’ve had to go, I thought, because it was like three minutes of bladder-exploding pee.

“Chas? Chas, close the door. HEL-LO!”
No answer.
Still splashy sound.
Though now it sounded like…like splattering.

“I’m not in the bathroom, I’m in the kitchen!” he yelled back.

“Then who’s in the bathroom?” I ask out-loud already starting to put this whole awful thing together.

Chas is faster to the bathroom than I am.

“MOM! MOOOOOM! The toilet is over-flowing and there’s water in the hallway!”

I came lumbering around the corner (actually, I moved quite fast, thank you very much) and saw lots and lots and LOTS of potty water spilling out from the bowl and inching its way down the hall in both directions.

As luck would have it, Charlie had JUST walked in the door for the game so he was home.
As his luck would have it, he was in the shower at the moment.

“Go get Daddy! Tell him the toilet is over-flowing! RUN!”

Chas is gone in a flash while I wring my hands in the hallway.
I have no idea what to do.
There’s just water SPEWING everywhere and it’s not something you grab a kitchen cloth for.
What you DO grab, I haven’t a clue.

Chas returns.
“He said to just shut the water off.”

WHAT?

He said to “just” shut the water off?
Well how in the %$#! do I do that?
I try.
I turn a few knobs, standing in water that covers the bottoms of my flip-flops while still pouring from the bowl itself.
It only takes me a few seconds to abandon that process though.
Whatever Chas said to him he clearly did not shriek with the urgency required for the job.

I fly up the stairs and barge into the bathroom where he’s showering in peace.

“You do not understand the MAGNITUDE of this problem!” I shout over the “other” water sounds while yanking a towel off the hook and literally dragging him from the shower.
“You have to come NOW.”

He comes (wearing only a towel which is rather humorous, looking back) and sees the disaster that has happened upon his family while he’s been lathering up luxuriously in the bathroom.
He says two things, “HOLY #$@%!” and then, funnily, “WHO DID THIS???”

Tiny little Greer raises her hand, “I hadda go pee-pee,” she says while he scrambles around the bathroom clinging to his towel.
Our whole family is in motion at this point and the boys head for the basement to collect dirty bath towels waiting to be laundered.
NO WAY was I offering up the clean stuff.
Toilet party in the hallway or not, we leave in four days and I don’t need any extra “help” in the laundry department.

“It’s coming through the ceiling!” Rhyse yells back up the stairs.

Greer and I swoop into the garage for a bucket just as Charlie comes storming down to assess the damage.
He empties a tote for water collection (by, I think, throwing all the clothes that were in there…somewhere…???), thus proving my bucket to be a wimpy choice and he hauls out a massive steam cleaner, our old one, one that weighs more than I do.
Which, currently makes that statement IMPRESSIVE, as far as portable household appliances go.

Water is just POURING through that light fixture in the basement.
P-O-U-R-I-N-G.
And since Charlie seemed to have a plan AND an extra towel if he needed one :), I, being ever so helpful, went running for my camera.

Amazingly enough, we had the entire thing cleaned up, Charlie’s shower finished, and Chas to his game JUST in the nick of time.
Like we literally pulled up next to the field and dumped him out of the car.

And you couldn’t possibly name the culprit behind that little whoopsie, could you?
I mean, you wouldn’t, just WOULDN’T think that it could be this sweet little cutie right here, hmm?

Because YOU SHOULD.
I don’t think Chas has grown bored enough to start conducting flushing experiments with colored pencils but I suppose it’s possible.
In case your children are interested you can pass this little tidbit along:
They will flush.
And then they will get stuck sideways and catch all kinds of toilet paper and yuck matter that ATTEMPTS to make its way through the pipeline and will eventually cause a massive disgusting flood of elimination water all over their feet.

Before you know it, you’ve got ANOTHER fun experiment on your hands and it’s How Not To Strangle Your Children On A Thursday Evening 12 Minutes Before Your Oldest’s Soccer Game Commences.

Jury’s still out on that one :)

Since we’re getting ready to leave for vacation, our soccer season is pretty much ending on Saturday.
There MAY be one on the Saturday after we return if we can rally after a 12-14 hour car ride.
But Greer will surely be finished.
And Chas’s last two scheduled games occur over our getaway and we aren’t yet sure if he has tournaments or not.

The one remaining is Rhyse and we do know he has that Saturday game and will be playing in a spring tournament.
Only problem there is that his tourney date falls on the same day as Greer’s dance recital.

Decisions, decisions.

The worst part about this whole big active family thing is exactly this: you actually LOSE family time.
We split up more than we’re together though I do have to say we’ve been MUCH more fortunate this spring than we were last fall.
I saw Rhyse play two out of ten games back then.
AWFUL.
But we just can’t be at everything for everyone and until I drop the guilt (which will be never–though I do manage the guilt) it’s going to stink.

The only alternative that I see though is to make one of them stop doing something that they like to do.
And that seems to be worse than just dealing with splitting up all the time.

As for the dance/soccer dilemma, luckily Greer has a rehearsal night which is nearly as “big” as the recital day itself and, not wanting Rhyse to play in the tournament with a parent present, it appears that I will be manning Recital Day while Charlie leads his team (and son) in the spring tournament.
We will all, as a family, be there for her on her rehearsal night and that will have to suffice for this year.
Plus, I’m hoping to drag my mother and sister along so it will be a Girl’s Day Out with Greer as the star of the show.
Just like she likes it :)

Speaking of my mom and sister, I gave a nudge in their direction that if they wanted to see anyone playing in any games they better make some time this week because we’re just about done!
So we were lucky enough to see my mom at Greer’s game on Tuesday, my mom and Dave last night at Rhyse’s game, and my mom and Dave and Brittani tonight at Chas’s game!
WHEW!
I’m sure they are soccered out but I know it meant a lot to my gang to have them there on the sidelines cheering.

Chas had a sweet shot on goal but their goalie had fast hands that time.
(But not in general as we took it, 4-1)

Greer monkeyed around again today.
I think Creux has been an ornery influence.

Charlie monkeyed around, too.
Who can say where the bad influence there came from.
All I know is he hijacked my photo.

Ah, here’s one sans monkeys and with better lighting:

I can’t run.
Can not run.
I’ve decided that women who workout every day until they have their babies are a) insane and b) freakishly built.
(My apologies to any of you who this applies to. I still like you. I just think you are freaky weird.)

Anyway, I’ve resorted to a new parenting low where the capturing of Creux is concerned.
When he takes off and I can’t reach or stop him, I yell to his brothers, “Chas! Rhyse! TACKLE HIM!”
And they do.
With RELISH, I might add.
Then they pin him down until I can waddle over and wrestle him to the car safely.

Look, I never said it was the RIGHT thing to do but it IS effective.
He hasn’t been smeared across anyone’s front fender yet.
So there is that.

And here, Rhyse demonstrates for you just how Greer got to be so tough.
She’s falling because of a PUSH.
(Actually I think one would categorize this as a SHOVE, if I’m technical.)

Why she’s laughing is beyond me.
(I can tell you for a fact that personally I would have handled that MUCH differently as a wee lass.
It would have included ear-shattering screams and lots of tears.
Followed by a trip to Dairy Queen :))

Chas is growing like a weed.
He’s now as big as my sister and he’s gaining on me.
Though I think as I grow wider, I grow shorter.
How does that happen?

Buh-bye, Babe-a-licious!

Thanks for coming, see ya Tuesday.
XO

I hadn’t planned on staying at the park today after dropping Chas off at his “Survival Skills” class with our co-op’s Mrs. Slone.
(Mrs. Slone, AKA “Creux Charmer”, from Montessori)

I’ve sort of been in a funk today.

But the sun was shining and our friends were out in full force–all of the older kids were in “class” so that left just gobs of siblings storming the playground.

We joined in.
And I’m so glad we did.

We hopped over to the Nature Center for a half hour or so and were lucky enough to witness a turtle feeding!
Just for us!

Rhyse had a dentist appointment yesterday.
He’d been complaining about a cracked molar and I figured it was one that was ready to come out.
I remember Chas losing his molars in PIECES.
And it was painful!
(Though I have no memory of losing my own molars. Do you? I felt rather stupid asking the dentist if those came out once upon a time but really, you’d think I’d REMEMBER pulling several massive somethings out of my mouth as a youth–I mean, you lose them towards adolescence!)

Anyway he needed a cleaning so it was rather perfect timing but the consensus on that tooth was that nope, not ready to come out, just broken.
And in need of fixing.
Lovely.

It turns out that Rhyse has several chipped molars and teeth due to his rather…indulgent…boyish play.
I wouldn’t expect anything less, honestly!
Though I told him he’s going to have to wear a mouth-guard around the house once all of his adult teeth arrive.
Those babies are PRICEY!

And they’re going to get pricier!
We’re now the proud owners of TWO orthodontic referrals.

(If you see me standing on the side of the road with a “Will Work For Ortho Donations” please stop and help.
And know that I mean CHARLIE for that whole “working” thing ;))

Anyway, in true Rhyse form, he made me spend money on cleaning a tooth that he intended to rip from his mouth less than 20 hours later.
Do you think I could take him back in and get a discount???
(We are self-pay for all medical and dental. So yes, I will haggle over a tooth–my vacation fund is on the line!)

He came strutting in this morning from playing outside and nonchalantly tossed his newly pulled tooth on the table by my morning muffin.
Yummy.
And then he headed for the sink.
Apparently, it wasn’t TOTALLY ready to come out yet and was a bit…bloodier than normal.
But it was “loose” so that made it ready enough for Rhyse!

He’s still full of smiles though.
My little tough guy.

He wasn’t kidding–it was blecky.

He recovered though!
And now he’s ready for the Tooth Fairy to come and work her magic.
(Read: Leave Her Money.)

Isn’t that a gorgeous tooth?!
So nice and shiny!
(Okay, well, if you look past the bloody smear.)

I know.
That was probably five bucks right there to clean, had they charged me per tooth!
Coulda been a margarita on the beach instead.
Oh wait.
No, it couldn’t.
Darn it.

But could have been a MOMMY CRACK!

Just look at that face.
She’s pissed, pure and simple.
Mad because I said no.
“No, you can’t go down by the dam.”
Rhyse had a game at the fields quite literally at the bottom of Hoover Dam.
Where you can see the water shooting out with impressive power.
Frightening, child-stealing power.
So I said no.

Horrible, wicked mother.

Greer has been an interesting addition to this House of Boys and I honestly find some of the aspects of her relationship with Charlie quite…intriguing.

Take for example just this one thing:
If Charlie snaps at the boys or speaks sharply, telling them to do something, there is rapid-fire movement.
I don’t quite get it.
In fact, it annoys the $%^# out of me sometimes because I can ask all day long, until finally I am screeching at them like a lunatic, and Charlie says it one time and everybody HUSTLES.

A-nnoy-ing.

But Greer.
Greer has BALLS.
Charlie will try that business with her and do you know what he gets?
An icy, cold, unblinking stare.
The sudden firming of tiny lips.
The visible hardening of their matching blue eyes, the ones that he gave her, the ones that narrow into slits like mine do when she’s Not Happy.

There is a quiet showdown between father and daughter and I just sit there, my own eyes wide and flicking back and forth between them curiously and with rapt attention.
I’m never quite sure what will transpire in the seconds that they lock in eye battle but I know one thing.

She will not back down.

I thought if we ever had a daughter and if she were ever snapped at by her daddy, that she would dissolve into a puddle of tears.
Boy, did I EVER misjudge that one.
Deep down, she might be a little hesitant and unsure of her next move but her face says otherwise.
I watch and I am IMPRESSED in a way that I probably shouldn’t be.
But I think, “Wow. You go, girl. Way to draw a line in the sand. Now…RUN!”

She juts her chin, stares him down and when, finally, one of the two of them breaks eye contact (usually him, by the way as he whisks her off to her room for being rude) we look at each other and we’re like…
Crap.
She’s going to be 15 one day.
And she is going to take us down.
It won’t be the boys who do it, it’ll be her.
This tiny little wisp of a girl with nerves of steel and unbreakable determination.

She is small but mighty.
I admire that so much in her–she is not hampered by her size.
And I rather like that she’s not this simpering girly-girl yet she is SO feminine.
She will rummage in her dress-up bin and come down in her Cinderella gown and her bitty high-heels and then she will proceed to knock Creux flat for trying to take her purse.
NOBODY knocks Creux flat.
But she does.
And she’ll apologize but she’ll also say, “But you shouldn’t take my stuff. It’s MY stuff. You got your own stuff. Now scram!”

Part of me does not look forward to butting heads with her as she grows but I know we’re going to.
I have a strong personality and so does she.
We both like getting our way and we’re both really used to it.
And as much as I dread the drama, I’m also proud of her for being so strong.
I kind of LIKE that she doesn’t back down.
Because I know she’ll go out into the world and she’ll be alright.
Sure, she’s got all these boys to slay her dragons for her but I’m not sure she’ll need them.

I think she’s going to be fine standing on her own two (tiny) feet.

Our co-op mamas really make an effort to get our “tweens” together outside of “school” so that they can get in on the whole “hang-out” thing.
You know, SOCIALIZE.
Because it’s a well-known misconception that homeschoolers do not, in fact, socialize.
It’s this question that, for me, highlights someone’s ignorance to homeschoolers in general.
When I get asked, “Do your kids SEE other kids? I mean…do they have FRIENDS?” I know that my time conversing with that person is extremely limited and unfortunately, so is my patience.
We’re homeschoolers, not aliens.

Hosting is done by volunteering for these functions and we’ve been super lucky to have some wonderful events pulled together for our tweens and teens and there’s LOTS more coming!
I foresee a summer filled with teen things.
And newborn things.
You wouldn’t think those two things would go well together but I’m all about breaking stereotypes these days :)

Anyway, it was high time for me to step up and offer to host something and I thought that the Westerville Rec Center’s indoor swimming pool would be a terrific outing for Charlie and I to chaperone.

Normally, we don’t have siblings at these events or, I suppose, we at least try to minimize their interruptions to the older kids if they are around.
But the turn-out for this event was rather small, maybe only 12-15 kids, so we made a last minute decision to allow Rhyse and Greer to come along and swim, too.
And where Rhyse goes, Colin goes and vice versa!

Jenny had kindly offered to have Rhyse over to play while I had Adrienne and her girlfriends at the pool but with the change in plans, we just had Colin join in on the fun as well!
We made these younger boys promise to not annoy the you-know-what out of Chas because there’s nothing that they like to do more than annoy the you-know-what out of Chas.
And they were super.
(Mostly.)
They did sort of annoy Chas but when Chas gave me the “GET THEM OFF ME!” signal, they were great about high-tailing it away from the teens and were off to do their own thing.

For her part, Greer was just amazingly happy to bop around the pool alone, showered in the adoration and FULL attention of both parents who sat right by the water’s edge and watched her play contentedly for almost two and a half hours.

The teens were terrific–they’re really a great bunch of kids and I hope they had fun!
We’d be happy to do this again come winter-time…I feel like we’re super lucky to have this amazing resource right here in our own backyard.

Here are some snapshots from the evening:

(That big splash was Rhyse–naturally :))

(And this was the cut-off point, right here. Chas = done :))

(That’s Greer!)

That was the Wet Part.
There’s a Dry Part.
You know what teens like to do…sit around and talk.
And you know what 8-year-old boys like to do…inappropriately climb playground equipment.

They’re just getting warmed up :)

Greer wasn’t really in the mood for soccer tonight.
She was in the mood to PERFORM, just not to perform soccer.
Part of it might have been that my mom and Dave were in attendance.
The other part of it is just that she’s four :)

And tonight, this wacky four-year-old preferred to somersault on the field rather than duke it out over a ball.
Can’t say that I blame her, actually.
Somersaults are FUN, when you’re able.
Me, not so able.

She bounded in the grass, marched around the field, galloped in front of the parents on the sidelines.
It was The Greer Show.
And it was CUTE.
I’d come see her any day.

And you know what?
She had the best time.

That’s all that matters, right?
Right.