Lifelines

I’d like to just take a post here to thank everyone for all of the emails and comments you’ve left for me and my family.

I can’t tell you how…relieved…I am to finally have shared the news publicly!  It’s been seriously monkeying with my ability to write over here on this blog because I’ve been hiding this huge life-changing news and it’s just not been easy to not blather on and on about how crappy feel and yet how excited I am!

So thanks a million for taking the time to leave me your words and to check out my new space for my new soon-to-be very own Fresh Baby.  (You know how I feel about Fresh Babies.)

Surely the pregnancy babble will leak on here a bit, how could it not, but for the most part, I’m using my “Expectant” blog for that business.

And let me tell you something strange.  When I opened Lifelines, I literally thought about the title for 2.7 seconds.  It just came to me and the second it popped into my head, I was like, “YES!  That’s it!  Perfect for me!”  I liked the play on words, because in writing (the “lines” of my life) it really seemed to just work for what I wanted.  I never really dreamed how literally it could BE a lifeline though and yet here again, it sort of is, in a less dramatic way than before (with Greer) but still.  This blog space ties me to my “people” :) and, like I said before, I do rely heavily on my girlfriend support and I get a lot of it through writing.

In contrast, I could not, COULD NOT, think of a title for the new blog.  I tried a million and I think maybe only a week or two ago did I finally come up with what seemed to be a meaningful headline for that very important space. I don’t really like those over-used type of lines “The Making Of You” or “Your Story” or whatever, even though that’s precisely what the blog is about. I thought and thought of words that connected me to my baby and to the idea of writing for this baby and that’s where “Expectant” came from.
Because I AM expectant.
I am waiting, patiently right now, but I know it will be impatiently as we round the bend of early summer.
This whole concept is about the waiting, about the pre-baby, about the journey, and about the end.
I am expectant for all of those things and more.

Already, I am so very happy that I decided to write for my baby when I did as I truly didn’t miss a thing from the get-go and have been fully present in all emotions as I know I will be recording them. Sometimes it’s hard for me to be present in a lot of what’s going on because my head is always in six different places so this has been a great incentive for me to take the time to live in the moments better.
I can share them better if I am paying close attention and taking nothing for granted.

People are already asking me if this is the “last one.”
I don’t know the answer to that.
I’m not one of those people who feels comfortable saying, “That’s it! We’re done!”
I don’t know that I’ll ever BE one of those people.
I tried a set number before and it was four. I’m on five.
You see how that went :)
Surely there will not be many more pregnancies, if there are to be any, in my future.
So, I don’t want to miss a moment.
Even though I feel really, really bad and I miss my old self very, very much…I am so grateful for this opportunity to give life again.
I don’t take it lightly.
And this thought is definitely forefront on my mind: do it how you want to do it and make no apologies.

I mentioned my attempting a home birth and this is stemming from my desire to do things in a way that suits me and my family better. It has less to do with the “natural” aspect of birth (I have not been known to snub an epidural) than it has to do more with bringing this baby into the world in a way that I want to do it. I don’t like the restrictions placed upon me in hospitals. I don’t want a baby nurse caring for my baby–I want Charlie and the kids to be more involved. I want them to feel more welcome, more apart of things, and a home birth would allow me the extreme flexibility that I am wanting this time around.
(Though the kids will not be in attendance at the birth and, while I am supportive of families who choose to birth together, this is not for me. At least I don’t think so. Never say never, right?)

It’s my hope to fill that journal space with lots of great belly photos and Flip moments, so that I can really capture this pregnancy as it progresses. There’s such a wealth of opportunity for me to document, document, document right now and I plan on running with it.
I don’t plan on missing a thing.

Anyway, thanks for sharing this wonderful time with me! My friends–you will truly never know how much I adore and appreciate each one of you and how thankful I am that you are always by my side in all my crazy adventures.

Hugs and kisses to all…from BOTH of us :)

Something’s up with me.
Do you want to know what it is?

How about a photo puzzle?
Let’s see if you can connect the dots.

Okay. Ready?
Here’s photo number one:

Hmmm. Any initial guesses??
How about adding in photo number two:

Anything?
Now, no cheating! Some of you already know the answer and I can feel you waving your hand in the air like a maniac, “Me! Me! I know, I know!”
Shhhhh. At least wait until the end before blurting out the answer.

Here’s your last clue:

WELL?!?
Have you put it all together? Do you know?
Let me help just a bit more….what do a sleepy Mommy, an empty drink hand, and five little pumpkins all have in common?

Click here when you think you know…

Am I aware of the significance of this day?
Yes. I am.
Are you?

It’s the day after the day AFTER Thanksgiving.
Which means I can venture into the world and not be trampled by the sale-seeking masses.

At least I hope I can.
I’m going to give it a shot, anyway.
Send help if I’m not back online in two days.

We had a lovely, low-key Thanksgiving with my family.
Amazing food, lots of laughs, wonderful company.
Blessings were logged, my count was high.
I gave thanks and found my grace.
Momentarily.
And then I found the world’s best mashed potatoes :)

If you can believe it, there’s only one photo from the night.
I just wasn’t up to my Mamarazzi best.
I was too busy eating…and then complaining about eating.
But we managed to assemble our small army of loved ones and the self-timer did us no wrong.
We’ll have to get more creative in the future though because Creux immediately snapped off one of the tripod legs.
That Calamity…

Hope all are enjoying this looooooong weekend of lazying.
Or shopping.
Or beating off the crazed 50%-off -Christmas wackadoos.

Wish me luck!

I spent the morning watching the Macy’s Day parade with my kids, lounging with my coffee and toast (and my birds.)
I gave a wide berth to the dead and pathetically naked turkey that was parked on my kitchen counter.
(Gratefully, he has now taken up residence inside my oven, no thanks to me.)

My babies have trashed the house, no one has showered, the kitchen is pulvarized…and yet…
This is a wonderful day.
I have so much to be thankful for and I’m really just enjoying the moment.

I love being Home.
I am so grateful not to have to travel for this (or any) holiday.
Home is where the heart is, yes?
Yes.

I do have lots of family and friends who are making the pilgrimmage to where their own loved ones are gathered and to them I say: travel safe.
I’m hoping that all drivers and pilots (and cruise ship captains–miss you, Jenny!) are on their best behavior this weekend.

See? I’m always thinking of you :)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

On a whim one day, we stopped by a Wild Birds Unlimited store.
I wanted to pick up a few bird-feeders for the upcoming winter months ahead–I thought my gang would really enjoy watching, what I hoped to be, a variety of feathered friends coming by to snack.

We bought three, planning to put one at the bay window in our kitchen, one at bitty eye-level in the schooling room, and one outside of Chas’ bedroom window. There a tree out there that boasts red berries this time of year so there’s always a bunch of activity going on up there.

Charlie hung these about two weeks ago and I wondered…how will they just suddenly KNOW?

It took two days.
And now we have more bird and squirrel sightings than ever imagined and it’s been so much fun for my kids!
They still get thrilled when they spot a visitor and really, if you pay close attention, you can see a type of line forming amongst them!
It goes something like this:
The birds will rush from their tree out back to our deck.
Then they’ll perch on the deck stairs, in view of the feeder, and will wait for the birds that are currently eating to fly away.
Once a space opens up, they swoop in!
This happens with the feeder out front too, with them waiting in the tree until it’s their turn.

We have very polite birds in our neighborhood.
So orderly.
And late risers, too.
My kind of birds….

Anyway, I thought I’d post this because my kids are having such a great time with it but also because I thought it might make for a great “family” Christmas gift. You can spend a fortune on bird feeders but I didn’t. The hanging one (which is my favorite) is just one of the plastic variety–with the hanger, it was about $20. We tried three different kinds of feeders and this one draws the most activity; we often have four to five birds feeding at once!

As soon as I can get organized (which might be never at this point), I’d like to try and figure out who these birds are with my kids :)
We’re not bird people.
Meaning, we don’t see them and go, “Oh, there’s a rare whatchamathingy.”
We point and screech, “BIRD!”
That’s about the extent of our collective knowledge.
So this is something I’d like to take some time with this winter and spring because, I can tell you this, we have a LOT of different types of birds here in our little corner of the world.

The birds out back are rather difficult to photograph and it’s mostly because the window gets in my way. Plus, I can’t get too close or they vanish in a flurry of feathers.

Our other feeder gets plenty of action, too.
On this day, we were in the schooling room, schooling away. Charlie had placed this feeder exactly where I wanted it but then I worried that perhaps it was just TOO close to the rapidly moving and LOUD Littles for any bird to feel comfortable coming within ten feet of it.
I needn’t have worried.
We get lots of small birds here. (Chickadees?)
But we also get another visitor, one who is starting to make a regular appearance out our window.

This guy wasn’t afraid of us AT ALL, or maybe he was just starving.
I’m not sure which it was but he let everyone get nice and close.
REAL close.
We were literally nose to nose at the window and he just kept…on…eating…

He was so fascinatingly entertaining, he even drew the bigger boys up from the basement.
Now THAT’s amazing!

Strategically placed bird feeders get a resounding many thumbs-up from my new bird fans!
I’m so happy that we added this little extra something to our cozy abode.

I rather like having coffee with the birds :)

When I wrapped the Christmas movies, I was banking on the fact that my kids would be typical kids and would grab the Santa paper wrapped ones first.
I was dead on!
There were only two of those and Greer snagged the first one which was “Fred Claus.”
In hindsight, I should have planned better and placed one of her favorites in the Santa wrapping (which would be the “Grinch”) since I knew she’d pick from that wrapping, too.
But I knew the boys really wanted to see “Elf” so I stuck that in the Santa wrapping, assuming that I had a 50/50 chance of starting off the family movie rounds with a bang.

Since she pulled her movie last weekend, when I laid out the selections for Rhyse, the one last Santa papered movie stood out like a sore thumb.
Rhyse did what I was hoping he’d do and pulled that one…and out came “Elf!”

This was another new movie choice for our family but we’d heard so much about it from the Lawrence Boys (and their Mama, who is FAR funnier that Will Ferrell ANY DAY) that we had to check it out.
It was cute–voted better than “Fred Claus” by my gang.
But I think what they like most about these family movie nights is the FOOD!
Charlie missed half of the movie due to his homemade popcorn making and a sweet, sticky surprise that none of us saw coming….

Can you tell what that sweet, sticky surprise smeared all over Rhyse’s face and fingers is??

I’ll give you a hint: it’s the same substance stuck all over the lips of my cupcake-jammied cutie. (And can I just that these jammies are my all-time favorite? They just always make me smile. Or maybe it’s just the sweet girl inside them.)

Ahhh, yes. Why have just one super gooey, melty marshmallow when you can “hold” the plate of them??? (While cramming six into your mouth while no one is looking.)

It’s really quite cozy in my living room on these family nights. (There’s that word again!) I love the intimate layout of my house–sometimes the lack of abundant space drives me mad but these nights together are never any of “those times.” We always have a fire and it just warms up the room so wonderfully. These fires are the best part of the season for me.

The best part for her is the sugar rush :)

When Charlie FINALLY sat down, (literally it was mid-movie) he was bombarded by children. That’s the way it goes around here for him.

But not for me.
I’m wrapped up in my blankie within minutes of the “Movie Time!” declaration.
(I know it’s ugly but it’s from my childhood! I STOLE this from my mother when I moved out eons ago. Didn’t even ask–I was willing to fight for it if need be. I just had to have it. It reminds me of when I was little.)
And the kids don’t usually climb on me, they SLINK into me.
Me and my blankie have rotating snugglers, with the only opter-outer being Chas.
Who is apparently too old to snuggle with his Mama anymore.
Sniff.
But the rest of them meld into me shamelessly.
And I relish every single second.

We’re lovin’ our Holiday movie nights!

PS…Carla, I saw your post on this and the movie you watched is in my wrapped pile somewhere!
Keep posting yours, too–maybe we can swap a few! I’ve got these two up for grabs if you want them.
Watch something I don’t have so I can borrow it from you at Shelly’s party! :)

Well, here’s Preschool Milestone Number Two that we missed last year due to our family illness: the Thanksgiving Feast.

Since Charlie was the parent picked (and not yet blogged, sigh) for the school pumpkin patch trip back in October, I was given permission (from Greer) to attend this month’s “date”.

I’m sure Chas did something like this when he was a preschooler but I can’t seem to conjure up any memories from that time period. (Where did they go? Luckily, I now have my trusty blog and things like this will not be able to slip into obscurity.)
I do remember Rhyse’s little Indian/Pilgrim feast over at Stoneybrook in Gahanna and it was CRAZY chaotic. It seemed that they picked one day for all the classes and had the meal all together in an upstairs cafe area and it was just nuts! Tables and tables of cute little Pilgrim and Indian boys and girls but wow. It was just too much, in my crowd-averse opinion.

But here, at her current school, they really got it right.

The parents assembled in the classroom and waited for the kids to return from music, and then we walked with them upstairs to a small gathering area where we watched them perform three songs, and after that…we ate!
And it was just us! Our one little class full of sweeties and their adoring guests of choice.
There were maybe twenty or so in attendance, parents and kids, so it was wonderfully peaceful and fun and intimate.

Chas really helped out at home watching Creux (which made me VERY nervous, I really don’t leave him with Creux awake often) so I was able to share in this day with Greer.
Just the two of us girls.
It was definitely something to give thanks for.

Here she is at 9:00 this morning, late as usual, and most assuredly is as “cute as a button.”

Charlie takes her in the mornings–it’s pretty sweet to see him leaving in his big manly truck with a tiny little pink-swathed, pigtailed cutie riding beside him.

And she’s all set! I make my promise to meet her there at 11:30.
I was not late.
And I did not forget my assigned snack item.
This was looking to be a FANTASTIC day! :)

When I arrived at the school, I spied a bulletin board decorated with what the kids said that they were thankful for. This one is Greer’s but I had to wonder…WHICH brother is she referring to? She did not use the plural and though there are three bodies in this drawing, one of them is hers. (I asked.) But I didn’t ask her which of the boys has stolen her heart so (though I have my suspicions and I think that’s him below, the Big Boy in Blue).

While we were waiting, the teachers passed out notebooks that we’d sent in at the beginning of the year. In these books, they place samples of writings and artworks collected throughout the year so that we may see our child’s progress, plus it makes for a great keepsake.

The first page in Greer’s notebook is her self-portrait, which has changed already! This stuff is always fun for me to see as their growth and maturity becomes so evident through their drawings.

And this page just threw me completely! I had to check and re-check the name on the paper just to be sure someone else’s wasn’t mixed up in the wrong book!
Read this please, while I crack my knuckles in preparation of de-constructing these answers of hers.
(Lies! LIES, I tell you. She must have been under threat of magic marker scribble to the face or something. I just don’t believe it, not a word. Okay, there’s ONE word I believe. Keep reading.)

Okay. OKAY.
When asked what her favorite color is, she said “black.”
BLACK?
Who is she kidding???
Not me, I’ll tell you that!
I snarfed (a most unladylike snort/laugh) when I read it.
And then I checked the name on the paper.
We all know what Greer’s most FAVORITEST color in the world is and it ain’t black!
Just look at the background of that folder I sent it!
I had to buy the upgraded fancy notebook for her because it was PINK!

Shaking my head in wonder, I kept reading.

Her favorite food is CHICKEN NUGGETS?
Is this a joke???
She’s had chicken nuggets ONE TIME IN HER LIFE and it was when I went to Miami and it nearly killed me to stick the box in my freezer but I needed easy foods for Emily to make.
It was SURVIVAL FOOD.
We don’t make nuggets nor do we allow our kids to eat them so how this is a “favorite food” is beyond my comprehension.
I am truly convinced she was either copying the kid next to her or her teacher was refusing her answer of “steamed broccoli” while holding that black magic marker to her forehead, cap off, ready to scribble.

The last one makes sense to me…but we don’t really read Caillou, we WATCH Caillou.
Maybe there’s been a book or two mixed in over the months and YEARS of good book reading but…whatever.
Perhaps she was feverish on this day, the kind where you hallucinate and say strange things?
I don’t know what was going on.
But two of those answers I’m just refusing.
I’m even going to print out this blog post and stamp it to the back of this bogus “get to know me” sheet.

Say…maybe she thought she was in the Witness Protection Program and was just throwing everyone off her trail?
Black.
Seriously….

You didn’t know there could be wrong answers for questions about your own self, did you?
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Just ask your mother.

Back to the point here…

So we waited and we waited and then they told us they were bringing the kids in and that we parents were a “surprise” for them.
Well, you know what that meant to me, right??
PHOTO OP!

I was poised and ready and snapped the picture I wanted.
Here she’s just realized that Mama is sitting in her chair.
Oh, glory day!

Moving up to the small break room upstairs, the children lined up and donned their homemade Indian gear and sang for us.
She participated.
Barely.
But beggars can’t be choosers, right?
I was just happy to see her up there amongst her classmates.
I had myself a grace finding moment.

It was a feast for the soul.
My girl and me.
Love you, Greerie.
Thanks for the special time together.
MWAH!

By the time we finally got around to cleaning up the church from our Showcase fun, the kids were hyped up on happy. (And sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.)
That’s when the REAL fun began :)

Greer, Emma, and Sarah get their snack on.
And no, they weren’t sharing.

Charlie had LOTS of help putting the chairs back.

Don’t let their innocent smiles fool you. These two are LOOKING for trouble.

Greer and Erin–for as long as I can remember, these two have spent Showcase night chasing one another through the chairs and around the room. They did not disappoint this year. Here they’ve finally caught up with one another.

Megan, Erin and Greer: The Wee Bitty Co-Op Cuties.

Remember that trouble they were looking for? Found.

I took ONE picture of this and then immediately put a stop to their attempt at my night at Childrens.

The Pre-Teen Cuties of Co-op (when did these girls get so big???):

Creux is still being tortured. Is it any wonder why he’s regularly thumps the other toddlers???

Taking a breather: Rhyse, Colin, Ethan and Creux

And then they were back at it! Colin, one’s escaping! (And where exactly are you dragging my daughter off to, Cave Boy? Luckily, dating rituals have come LEAPS and BOUNDS from what they used to be. Jenny, are you studying the Stone Age with him? ;))

Oh, this cracked me up. If he asked nicely, he was allotted an extra inch of cord. And if not? Then he just vacuumed the same spot over and over again.

Yep. Rhyse is d-o-n-e. Time for us to load up.

Just as soon as Greer and Megan finish with their Ring-Around-The-Rosie fun.

Whew! We leave…happy, tired, boggled down with fantastic art.
Ready for our break but also strangely counting down the days until we meet again.
Bye, Co-op families! Bye! See you all in February!!

So, like I said, sometimes I catch the greatest moments just by being in the right place at the right time and ALWAYS with a camera in my pocket.

After the “show” part of Showcase, we snacked.
Oh my goodness, did we snack.
I was rather impressed by the spread!
Normally we have the usual chips and cookies but I saw (and ate half of) a veggie tray, plus wee bitty cheesy baked potato things AND a box of fried chicken. (Oh, I didn’t eat all that–only the veggies! Okay, fine. I had ONE potato thing. WHO’S COUNTING???)

The food is not the point here.
I am way off-point and am clearly hungry.

So I’m at the snack table, merely perusing, of course, when I spy through the open kitchen window Chas’ friend Kyle arm-wrestling a GIRL!
He wins.
As well he should have.
And he’s drawn a crowd.
This is not unusual for Kyle.
He’s a crowd-lovin’ kind of kid, one who gets the biggest kick out of any manner of story-telling, one who can barely make it THROUGH the stories because he cracks himself up so completely before he gets to the ending.
We. Heart. Kyle.
Anyway, Kyle is back there arm-wrestling.
And it’s quite entertaining so I wander inside to get a better peek at things.

Right about the time I enter the kitchen, Kyle is finishing up his second challenger.
There’s a weird break in the fun frenzy where all the kids are looking around for his next victim.

And guess who was sitting right beside him, hmmm??

A loud round of “Chas! Chas! Chas!” chanting began and I knew, just KNEW, he didn’t want to do it but I knew, as he did, there was no backing out of that crowd!
He was a good sport and it ended up being a good match-up.
And this Mama giggled with glee over this image:

MEANWHILE…

Over in the back corner of the kitchen, I catch a glimpse of another small crowd that has formed.
Never one to be out-done, Rhyse has taken matters into his own hands.
Literally :)
I just know in his head, there was another crowd chanting, “Rhyse! Rhyse! Rhyse!”
He lined ‘em up and knocked ‘em out.
Rhyse-Style.

Though I do believe he met his match right…about…here…

Thanks for the laughs, boys!
And thanks for deep, camera-holdin’ pockets, Gap!

Picking up from where I was so rudely interrupted yesterday.
Why can’t Creux take five hour long naps?
He acts like I’m asking for so much!

Date Night was fun, by the way.
We went to Mezzos in Gahanna which I liked very much less than ever before.
Strange.
And then we saw the longest movie ever made, “2012.”
Good but the end of the world could’ve happened in under two hours, if you want my opinion.
I know there’s a lot to demolish but my attention span can only handle so much repeat demolishing before I start mentally wrapping gifts in my head.
My Grit List never stops, I tell you.

Back to Showcase:

Laura, I know you’re going to have anxiety about this photo because I picked up one of the programs with…um…less ink than some of the others. Rest assured that this was fine, it served its purpose and really, nobody noticed. Until now :) Thanks for taking the time to pull these together for all of us!

Do you spy…my little guy?

Greer’s Preschool Play class performed a song, along with the sign language that they’d spent the semester learning. My diva stood with her back to the crowd for the duration of her time “on-stage” which is, ironically, a leap forward from last year’s participation (when I had to stand up there holding her). She cracks me up! You’d never know that she is the STAR of MANY shows here at home, where we are literally forced to watch her sing and dance over and over and over again.

And look who took the stage like a pro!
I could tell he was nervous while waiting on the side to be called but he sat right down and banged out his number.
I’ve never been prouder.
(Though I was really, really, really hoping he wouldn’t freeze up there out of last-minute, debilitating stage fright. He’s never done anything like this before so I didn’t know what to expect but it’s RHYSE we’re talking about so I figured he’d work it out. He did. My little man.)

And THIS is what he looked like returning to his seat.
Check the (elated), (relieved) smile!

Ah. Nearly Naked Baby. In order to keep his trap shut during the performances, we gave Creux all manner of garbage to eat. I think at one point, he was holding a baggie with smashed up brownies bits and Smartie candies. Bleck. But it was IMPERATIVE that he stay quiet so we let him have whatever he wanted. Fortunately, we managed to convince him to drink water.
Unfortunately, he spilled it down the front of him and bellowed, “OFF! OFF!” repeatedly at the top of his lungs while some darling child played “Joy To The World” or whatever it was that they’d worked WEEKS on. I turned to Charlie and hissed (literally, I hissed), “JUST TAKE IT OFF HIM!”
Hence, Nearly Naked (But Mostly Quiet) Baby.

Colin stepped right up (he’s a piano PRO) and did his thing flawlessly.

And he received a sweet high five from his big sis.

Meanwhile, William tries like hell to figure out why Creux is half naked.

My favorite performance! The Handbellers :) This was so neat, I think they played “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” and they were a huge hit with the crowd. I think even Creux chilled during the performance.
Oh, that didn’t last but it was a nice minute and a half, anyway. (Smarties do NOT last long, by the way. Next time I’m bringing a Tootsie Pop. Don’t those take HOURS to lick through?)

Yeeeeah. See? Didn’t last long.
That’s Charlie doing the Daddy Whisk Away and that’s Jenny’s husband smirking as he walks past.
He didn’t smirk long as he was banned to the nursery with William less than three minutes later :)

That’s it for the performance photos, up next are the kid candids that I love so much!
I do often ask them to smile because they’re all so darn cute but a lot of the time, I just stand back and observe, clicking away.
I ALWAYS catch good stuff when I do that because kids are ALWAYS up to things!
I keep my camera in my back pocket and am quick with the trigger.
I hate missing Cute Kid Moments.
I hate missing Ornery Kid Moments even worse.
Fortunately for me, luck was on my side and I had a full battery…