Lifelines

Well, we divided alright but didn’t exactly conquer :) We kicked off our soccer season this evening and, naturally, both boys played at the same time, requiring us to split parental duties. Since Charlie co-coach’s BOTH teams and since Chas’ team was missing the other coach, he went to Chas’ game while I cheered on Rhyse.

My mom swooped in at the last minute and offered to man the Littles at home which was FANTASTIC because then I could actually sit and watch the game. In the rain. Nice. (Really, it was only sprinkling but I hate being wet so I consider anything falling from the sky “rain” and irritatingly enough worthy of an umbrella–preferably not a Disney princess one but that always seems to be the ONLY unbrella I can locate in the trash heap in the back of my car.)

So I went and sat on the bleachers and shivered alone in the misty rain while Rhyse ran up and down and up and down the field. We didn’t play a winter sport this year and I think it took a toll on him as he just didn’t seem quite as…conditioned as he normally is. I saw him walking a lot on the field where typically he’s all over the place. And the difference is shown by the fact that he didn’t score any goals. Not that he has to for it to be considered a “good” game for him, but the fact is–he’s an amazing little athelete and generally leads his team to victory.

I wondered what was going on with him when I saw him walking during the game, but when I heard him ask the coach if he could play GOALIE, my jaw nearly hit the ground. Rhyse hates playing goalie! He always says there’s not enough action and he can’t score from back there. He only wanted to play there because he needed a break–he didn’t sub out at all during the match. Normally, he digs this but today, not so much.

We played his buddy Bailey’s team for our first out-of-the-gate game and they had a great time together on the field. They match up very well skill-wise so one would normally find the other out there for a face-off. Then they’d giggle and chat. Cute.

Come to think of it, what Rhyse lacked in aggressiveness tonight, he made up for with his social graces. At one point in the game, the other team had a break-away and was heading for our goal. Rhyse was playing defense–last man guarding the goalie, who guards the box. His job is to stop the ball before it makes its way to our Last Hope (that would be the goalie). So I’m watching the game unfold, not necessarily watching Rhyse but once I see the other team making a fast move up the field, I look expectantly at my son who I am anticipating to be ready and more than willing and able to clear the ball from the box. He’s got a big foot and crafty moves so normally he does something fabulous. NEVER does a ball get past MY son out there. It just…well, it just doesn’t ever happen. I say this matter of factly.

Anyway, I’m rather passively watching this scene in front of me and I look to him and HE’S TALKING TO THE GOALIE! Like cracking up talking, waving his hands all around animatedly, really getting into his story. Now, for the most part, I am not one of those loud, screamy moms. These kids have two coaches barking orders from the sidelines and NUMEROUS other parents who like to bark also. So I don’t bark. I’ll cheer and clap and holler for him when he does something particularly great but even then, I’m not super go-all-crazyish. My kids have always been wonderful about looking for me when they have a special moment so I’m able to catch their eye and wave, thumbs up, whatever, when they give me their attention briefly. But tonight, when I saw him talking and when I saw this other kid zooming down the field toward the goal OF WHICH HE WAS OBLIVIOUS, I just reacted. I couldn’t stop myself.

“RHHHHHHHHYYYYSE!”

I had, unfortunately, jumped out of my seat as well, drawing even more attention to myself. I think everyone around me was as stunned as I was–both by what was about to occur on the field and by my terrific display of WTFy-ness. But he snapped to it IMMEDIATELY and luckily did whatever it is that he does to take the ball away but…JEEZ. I sat down feeling like a moron at my outburst. AND, to make matters worse, we lost the game–score 0-1.

Chas’ team fared much better, bringing home their first win! We were the undefeated champs last fall and are hoping to have another as-successful season. I heard he had a great game, playing well and taking lots of shots on goal. He wasn’t the scorer but Gold finished on top–score 1-0.

We play again on Saturday where we just get beaten down as a family…pictures at 8:00, game at 9:00, pictures at 11:00, game at noon. Groan. (Big groan. I hate picture day.) Hopefully the weather will co-operate–as will the Littles.

On second thought, that’s probably asking too much. Will hope for nice weather and will bring running shoes for Creux shagging ;)

Pictures from this evening:

Snapped this while Charlie nearly had a meltdown in the driveway due to being almost late. (I told you it would be fine! Who was right, huh, huh, HUH?)

I wanted a picture with Coach Dad (who is clearly hating me right now)

Game shots of Rhyse (in grey and..well, and labeled correctly ;))

And a few of the Rhyse-Bailey Showdown :) (Shelly, this first is for you…look at him go!)

They both went down on this one; one right on top of the other!

Good friends, good times. See you at the REMATCH! ;)

I had another appointment at Spa Stoneridge this morning (aka: dentist) and when I walked in the door, I was greeted by a chorus of “Mommy! Mommy!” These two came rushing towards me, arms outstretched, little hands proudly thrusting forward their bounty. Their words warmed my heart: “We picked these for you.”

I’m a lucky girl; when they’re not trying to drive me batty, they’re actually very, very sweet and thoughtful :)

Thanks again, Mystery Daffodil Planter, and thanks to you, my sweet little pickers.

Yesterday was strangely peaceful; for the most part, the kids spent the entire afternoon getting along! I was completely freaked out all day, thinking one or all of them must be coming down with something.

But they drew and colored, drove and waved–just altogether enjoyed one another’s company.

WEIRD :)

After three hours of Saturday soccer practices and a crazy week with Greer, we were both REALLY ready for Date Night. We started off late (for us these days, 6:00 IS late!) and had to drop off Miss Greer to my mom’s house. Emily stayed with all the boys and this is what I saw when we pulled out of the driveway–a very sweet send-off! (Us: “Bye-bye”…Them: “Beep-beep!!”)

Greer was so excited, she’d been waiting ALL DAY for this Girls Night with her Memaw. She was all smiles in the car on the way over:

She got a nice big welcome from her most favorite relative in the whole wide world:

“Let the spoiling begin”, says my mom! As you can see, Greer is about three feet in the door and is already just showered with love and treats. My mom bought “CandyLand” so they could play together; Greer later told me that she won :) (Thanks, Ma.)

Ahhhh, and do you know what this picture means? Do you see just the two of us?

WE’RE FREE!!!

I picked Abuelos down at Easton for dinner since we’d never been there and since our kids don’t like Mexican food so much. Plus, I KNEW they’d have great margaritas and I wasn’t disappointed! Since we had a little bit of a wait, we kicked off Date Night at the bar, both of us ordering frozen margaritas–size small. But after being seated and plowing through two baskets of chips and salsa, we upgraded to frozen margaritas–size LARGE. I couldn’t even finish mine, I was so afraid I’d be curled up asleep in the booth, drooling all over myself by evening’s end!

Since the stores were still open, we wandered around a bit and ended up killing the time we had in Pottery Barn Kids. (How is it that we manage to escape them, only to choose to surround ourselves with things “of” them?) Oh, but it’s Easter and we’re still bunny helping and filling four little baskets thoughtfully takes quite a bit of work, you know…

It ended up being a really late night; we bought tickets for “Duplicity” (so good, so good!) at 10:30 and didn’t get out of there until ONE IN THE MORNING! By the time we were settled all snug in our bed, I don’t even want to say what hour it was because it was painfully late. (Or early?) Regardless, I’m still recovering. (Yawn.)

But we rallied! We kicked some decorating @$$ this weekend and still managed to squeeze in a bit of downtime. There are projects looming that are beyond what I think can be fueled by a simple Date Night. Good thing we have a vacation coming up here in a few short weeks (um, 32 days, not that I’m counting) because once we get home…I’m unveiling my newest, most updated and creative, most unfriendlyish-to-date Honey-Do list.

Be afraid, Honey-Do List Completer. Be very afraid.
And bring your drill.

Creux has decided that he’s not using his baby clip-on seat at the dinner table anymore. Apparently, it’s offensive to his very grown-up self.
Ahem.

We’d had such success with the “Hippo” seat with Greer; she loved being at the table with us and we appreciated not having a massive piece of baby equipment sitting around in our kitchen. But Creux, ah, he’s a different beast :) Though we regularly used the seatbelt to strap him in, it didn’t really deter him from climbing out. He’d just pull himself forward onto the table and end up flipping his seat inside out, all while safely belted in.

And not only that, but he destroyed that little dining chair. It was a hot mess of glued-on food and had all manner of yuck crammed into crevices that I didn’t even KNOW existed. We bought it in the fall and it’s already falling apart at the seams. (It was the Eddie Bauer brand of clip-on seat; I wouldn’t recommend it.)

So after many, many meals consisting of him trying to steal someone else’s spot, we decided to take down the clip-on and welcome him properly to the table with a chair of his own. He’s very happy about this arrangement; he prefers to eat in a standing position, anyway :) Since I’d like to re-enforce non-Caveman-era eating habits, we’ll probably add a booster of some (highly washable) kind eventually.

Though I’m kind of considering just duct taping him there nightly.

Jenny, tell Kevin I said thanks for the idea ;)

Not only has Date Night been fantastic because I’m able to enjoy at least ONE dinner a week without small people climbing all over me, but I’m also able to PULL MY HOUSE TOGETHER.

A not-so-small part of being able to do that is being able to GO OUT. I can’t drag them through stores alone (I’d rather have my eyes gouged out) or even go shopping when I’m exhausted by my normal day. (And my “normal” days don’t typically allow for time-sucking excursions, fun though they may be. Okay, fun though they definitely are!)

Between last night’s “free” time and today’s re-newed parental/homeowner energy, we were able to accomplish a smidge, just a fraction really, of what I’ve been wanting (and needing) to do.

This afternoon, we spent an UNGODLY amount of time and money at JoAnns.
I’ve decided to start making everyone’s clothes from scratch! It really shouldn’t take me much longer than the rest of my life. :)
I’m totally joking, have not been driven to the Looney Bin just yet (though think I have a fabulous head start on most of you).

I ransacked the silk flowers department and I left pure carnage in my wake. JoAnn, I am so very, very sorry but really, I was terribly excited at your assortment of Flowers In My Colors. I didn’t know they were in the aisle BEHIND the aisle I started in and I completely apologize for ditching those piles, um, and piles of flowers on the (cringe) floor in the corner, behind your potted palms. I heard a cart carrying my children approaching and lady, I had to get the hell out of there. Believe me, I MORE than made up for it at the register. WE’RE EVEN.

I then spent what felt like five years of my life arranging this:

I have realized that I will be “touching up” this stupid gigantic flowerpot for, like, ever. And ever. (And ever.)

Since it’s starting to warm up outside and we’re spending more time outdoors, I’d decided that something must be done about my current view from the porch swing. It’s a gorgeous landscape, it just oozes comfy in its…boring, old, ugly way:

BUT! JoAnn, who truly has impeccable decorating tastes, didn’t let me down here either! These baskets were quick for me to arrange; I wanted to keep it simple. And yeah, I’m sure normal people fill these with actual flowers. I am not normal people, however. I kill EVERYTHING. I don’t have the patience for gardening, not with flowers. Maybe I’ll have better luck growing food since it’s hardier? Seriously, it’s amazing that I’ve kept my kids alive this long! Am not terribly great at recognizing the signs of dehydration (so says thousands of dollars worth of dead flowers and plants over the years). Have a “Green Graveyard” out back and ummm..and actually have a few bodies resting in peace on upper deck. Had some palms last spring, thought they were cute, killed them within the month…whatever, here are my baskets of fake flowers:

This is a much better view! I’d like to find a little wicker set to put beneath this–maybe two chairs and a small table. Am hesitant to do anything else, however, until I see how my decorations fare with the fifteen neighborhood kids that like to hang out on my porch all summer. Do not have high hopes of these making it through the season intact. (Especially since wheeled thingy looks a bit like a frisbee and the boys seem to have a knack for turning the unordinary into something “fun”. “Fun” meaning something likely to take one’s head right off their body.)

This blank space in my kitchen by the doorway has been driving me crazy for two years and FINALLY I figured out something to hang there! I’d tried a few things before but nothing really seemed right for the space…until now! I found this memo board at Target on Saturday night (while dating, mind you), snagged that twirly thing at JoAnn’s (loving her!) and ripped the flower off one of my previously owned fake plants at stuck it to the top. I scurried around my house picking up things that I thought would be cute on my new display board/memo station/daily Aren’t-My-Kids-Cute? reminder:

There you can find: a photo of me (age 3) and my mom, our 2007 Christmas photo, my high school reunion pin from (yikes) a few years ago, one of my favorite pics of the boys (taken last year during the backyard flood when we played and played out in the rain), a baby photo of Charlie beside a baby photo of Creux, Greer’s birth announcement (uhhh, Creux’s is coming? :)), a darling photo of Chas, Rhyse and Greer at Chas’ 10th birthday party, this year’s Christmas card, an invitation to Muffy’s baby’s baptism, Greer’s hand prints from earlier this year, Greer in dance costume from last May, and Greer playing Mommy in one of my hats (another of my favorite photos). Dead center are our tickets to this week’s “We’re Dating Our Kids” adventure–Miracles & Magic on Saturday night. I was quite pleased that I was able to round all this up quickly and then realized…I need to print out some recent photos! I take all these pictures, have a printer sitting right underneath my desk and NEVER get around to printing! Am going to schedule Date Night Print Party! :)

Pictured below are a few new things at my spot on Wall Of Desk:

1.) Moved Rhyse’s hand print there because can not find anywhere else to put it.

2.) Added small bud vase with beautiful daffodil, collected for me by Rhyse, who found a small patch of them growing at the bank of our creek. (I always wonder…who planted these? Kind of neat that, at some point, someone thought to head out there and make that their little sunny patch and now, each spring, I watch from my window as my kids pick them for me and ruuuuuun back, all giggly and excited to surprise me with them. Thank you, mystery daffodil planter!)

3.) Found neat, little, colorful, dotty box to hold my new Sharpie markers. It’s actually made for a candle but I thought it’d be cute as a marker holder. Will be shattered by the week’s end, and permanent markers will cover my walls PERMANENTLY (in many lovely colors, as you can see!) but for now, I will sit and gaze and count spotty dottys!

I also took the opportunity to get this family color-codedly organized! We have a huge master calendar on the white board in the schooling room but you need a friggin’ decoder to understand who’s going where and what they need to bring. I thought this would make it simpler for my family members to know when to snap to it. Plus, soccer season opens on Tuesday and if I don’t have sticky notes and reminders pasted all over this house, there’s not a CHANCE of me remembering which boy is going to which field and which parent is accompanying (because, of course, they often play at the SAME STINKIN’ TIME). That’s three “which’s”, people! The margin for error is outstanding! (And sadly, I will STILL forget Game Snack.)

Oh! And friendly Easter Bunny compliments of Rhyse. Cute, isn’t he?

Last but not least…(well, not really last either, technically, since we have a faucet waiting to be installed and new lighting picked out but not purchased), we have a new bathroom mirror! It’s huge and square and totally changes the feel of the bathroom. I added the candles and new flowers (Sorry, JoAnn–Michael’s had a sweet deal I couldn’t pass up. Forgive me.) and am just swooning over my new and fantasticly “me” bathroom. (Currently ant-free, by the way–word must’ve gotten out about my extermination practices!) Once we install the faucet and lights…I think it’ll be completed!

This coming weekend, we’re going to attempt a Family Project.
It involves adhesive and smashed bits of glass.
Should be…well, I’ll post pictures :)

I wasn’t sure if we’d be heading out tonight or not, given this week’s Drama Trauma.

But I spoke with my mom a few days ago and, though she had previously offered for the boys to come stay the night with her, she switched it up and requested a night alone with Greer. “A Girls Night”, she called it and once I mentioned it to Greer, well, that’s just what was going to happen tonight whether we went out for a date or not!

Greer has been fever free since Thursday night and is doing so much better. She’s back to her old ways, demanding that I change the music station in the car (and that’s after refusing to leave until she finds her lip gloss). We had an interesting appointment with Dr. DiCarlo this morning, will share that later.

Last night before I put her to bed, she insisted that we begin packing her sleepover bag. We picked out jammies and clothes for Sunday. When I woke up this morning, she’d already come downstairs and I found her little bag FURTHER packed (toys, nail polish, and “Thumbelina” which we’d rented for tonight’s Girls Night) and waiting by the front door! The only thing she couldn’t cram in there herself was “soft blankie”, a gift that we’d received when she was born from our friends, the Giancolas. (Vic, she just LOVES this blankie and I bought one for Creux plus two more for new babies William and Sam.)

She’s been asking me all day long, “Is it time to go to Memaw’s yet?”

The answer she wants is coming in just about one hour :)

The boys are excited to have Em come and hang out. I was teasing Creux a little while ago and told him, “Emily is coming!” I kept repeating her name and he went flying to the front door…then to the garage door…then to the back door looking for her. Em, he DEFINITELY knows who you are these days!

I am so very, very ready for this night out on the town! My kids are all in wonderful hands and I’m anxious to kick back and relax grown-up style.

Must run! Abuelos is calling and says there’s a margarita waiting with my name on it :) (Or maybe a Corona with lime? That sounds so very Abuelos-ish!) And yeah, I say that like I’m ordering ONE.

This Mama’s cutting loose tonight.

My girl is healthy! Cheers!

I’ve been spoiled today; it’s like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one!
What have I received, you ask?

I’ve got my daughter back.

This morning, I’ve unwrapped smiles and giggles. I’ve happily fetched drinks and snacks. I’ve seen real poop in the potty and new whisps of curls on her head. Best of all, I’ve NOT been given any fevers.
None. They are all gone. (And I pray it stays this way.)

Twenty-four hours ago, my little girl was burning up with sickness–crying, weak and miserable. I was sick myself, worried that she’d not get the help she needed quickly. Every hour that passed seemed to steal a little more from her and she was a lot less recognizable to me as the girl I know and love more than anything in the world.

After her antibiotic shots last night, we gave one final dose of ibuprophen at 6:00pm.

We have not had a fever since.

I had another sleepless night; in two short days, I’d grown accustomed to waking every hour or so and feeling her forehead. I’d been so paranoid about another seizure that I couldn’t sleep for long, in case I needed to head off a high rising temperature. But all through the night, she slept peacefully beside me–no fever in sight, her breathing returned to normal.

She woke…refreshed. She’s been talking and smiling, giggling and playing quietly by herself. Now she sits beside me, enjoying the use of Chas’ computer (and those darn crayons!) since he’s gone and can’t do anything to stop her :) I think she’s eager to re-join the world; she’s been asking me “What are we doing today? School? Is it my share day?”
Greer isn’t 100%–what she’s been through has taken a visible toll on her. But I know in my soul that she is going to be better now.

I am once again at ease, feeling like she’s truly on the road to recovery. She has a follow-up appointment at the doctor’s office tomorrow which I am looking forward to! Though I have never met this doctor, I can’t wait to thank him. Won’t he be surprised when I throw my arms around him for a great big hug! :) Hell, I may even make him cookies!! I need him to know how much I appreciate what he did for us. Yeah, I know it’s “his job” to provide care but…he listened to me. Though I woke him in the middle of the night (groan) on Tuesday, he followed up with me, calling my cell phone when I was at Children’s Hospital and spent 20 minutes talking to me while I nervously paced the hallways. Though I disturbed his day at home with his grandchildren yesterday, he made me a priority, spending half the afternoon on the phone with his nurse, me, and the staff at my local branch of Children’s. Greer is not his patient, but he treated her just like she was, anyway. Though I don’t doubt that Dr. Carine would have done the same, it’s wonderful to know that there are TWO amazing care providers at my pediatrician’s office. (We use The Pediatrics at Big Run in Grove City. I know it’s far but I searched high and low for doctors who fit my own personal criteria and these people have exceeded my standards. That ain’t easy to do, for the record. :))

The boys are gone for the afternoon and Creux is trying to take a nap (he’s rattling the bars of his cage currently) so it’s just me and my baby girl. I had planned a field trip for my co-op to “The Works” museum in Newark but clearly couldn’t make it myself. (Which stinks because the kids are making slime and snot and I just KNOW I’d get some great photos!) But at least the boys are out having a good time. Thank you to Jenny and Laura for filling my field trippin’ shoes today! I hope you guys and our other co-op families enjoyed the workshop!

I’m off to indulge my little one with Mommy time galore–and maybe some ice cream for two.

I suppose that, having spent nearly an entire day at Children’s Hospital yesterday, I should have felt better about Greer last night. But I couldn’t quite let it go. By the time I put her to bed, I just felt really uneasy.

I sat there and watched her fall asleep and noticed an alarming new symptom: rapid yet shallow breathing. Curiously, I stared at her and counted…for every breath I took, she took five. She was so very restless, still feverish, and seemed uncomfortable. The longer I watched, the more concerned I grew.

I walked out of her bedroom and stood in front of Charlie.

“Something’s not right.”

I would end up saying this sentence repeatedly over the next 12 hours. And do you know what?

I was right.

That weird breathing pattern lasted all night long and I, true to my word, did not sleep a wink. I dozed but kept jumping awake, frantic to feel her body temperature, frantic to make sure she was still breathing.

Through this whole ordeal, it’s been that breathing thing that’s worried me senseless, even when I felt like it was just an over-reaction. Of course she’d still be breathing! But for some reason, it’s been a major concern of mine and, as it would all turn out, her new and strange way of breathing would be a significant clue as to what was wrong with Greer.

She took a turn for the worse today. It was the first day that she’d truly, truly acted as sick as I knew she was. She was crying, complaining of a tummy ache; she was flushed and miserable. And I’d been having a hell of a time keeping her fever at bay–the second the medicine wore off, she was burning up again. I spent the morning lamenting over her state, wanting to call the doctor again but feeling almost silly about doing so. She’d just been seen the day before and there was nothing evidently wrong with her. Yet, I was just so unsettled! I went to check on her as she napped on the couch and I saw that she was still breathing funny: fast, soft panting–her chest rising and falling rapidly.

I thought…why am I not calling these people? I think something’s wrong, I think they missed something at the hospital. I won’t ever regret calling them back, so what if I seem like an overly worried mommy. But I could forever regret not calling.

“Something’s not right.”

I left her side and found my phone. I placed another call to Dr. Carine’s office.
I explained her new symptom to the nurse at the pediatrician’s office, followed by “I can’t explain it at all but I think something is really wrong with her.”
She told me she’d contact the doctor covering for Dr. Carine and would call me back.

Five minutes later, she called me back and told me to take Greer directly to Westerville’s branch of Children’s Hospital. The doctor she spoke with was very upset that yesterday no scans or blood work had been run on Greer. He ordered chest x-rays plus whatever blood work he thought might provide us with some information.

I loaded her up and took her over. Withing minutes, they had x-rayed her tiny chest and I’d held her close while they drew her blood.

I was still at the facility with Greer when my cell phone rang. It was the doctor’s office on the phone and they’d already received the results from Greer’s chest scan.

The diagnosis: pneumonia.
Her right lung had been infected–and this had led to the high fevers and the breathing problems.

The relief I felt was tremendous. Pneumonia is so very serious if not treated but honestly, I was just happy that they’d found a cause for all of this suffering she’d been going through. At least now, I knew what we were up against and it gave me back a sense of power that I felt like I’d lost. I’d been so scared and worried and completely reliant upon others to provide me with information. Now, we could really figure out how to help her.

When speaking with the nurse, she asked if I wanted to give Greer an antibiotic shot or to give her the medicine orally. I chose orally because we’d just been through a tramatic blood draw and I didn’t want to put her through any more poking if I could help it. She told me she’d call the prescription in and that I could pick it up in about an hour.

She called me back five minutes later and said that Greer’s blood work results had just come in and her white blood cell count was too high to wait for the oral antibiotic. I needed to bring her to the office immediately for the shot.

So I did, I made the looooong drive out to Grove City and I waited for them to prepare the shots. (That would be plural.) Three women arrived in our little examination room and I stared in horror. Three?

“Two to give her shots simultaneously and one to help hold her down.”

Dear God.

I laid over her chest so she couldn’t see them. I had said nothing to her about any shots previously; I hadn’t wanted her to worry over getting them. But as they swabbed her little thighs, I whispered in her ear what was happening. I told her the truth, I felt she deserved that from me. I said it was going to hurt really really bad for a minute but that I’d stay right there with her the whole time. I asked her to be brave but told her to cry all she wanted. I whispered that she had “bad guys” inside her body and that the nurses were putting some “good guys” in to fight them.

She wailed in such misery, a pitiful sound I can’t bear to replay in my head. But it was over quickly and they, all three, disappeared instantly and left me alone with her to soothe and comfort and to silently beg for healing.

There are no words that I can write to explain how draining this whole experience has been for us. But, the difference that I feel sitting here writing tonight compared with last night is equally unrelayable.
I think we got it. I really think we got it.

How did the staff at Children’s miss it? (Maybe it wasn’t such a great visit after all, eh?) When I researched pneumonia this afternoon, I read that’s it’s notoriously tricky to diagnosis as it often mimics a cold or the flu. Often times, a fever is the only symptom present–as it was in Greer’s case. Had she not started breathing funny, I would have taken their advice and just tried to minimize the fever while her body attempted to fight off whatever virus she had picked up. Rapid, shallow breathing is a big tip-off to pneumonia but she didn’t have that until last night. Should they have at least run a blood draw on her? Probably. The pediatrician I’ve been working with called it an “injustice”. If they’d checked her blood levels, they’d have known instantly that they needed to dig a little deeper and she probably would have gotten the correct treatment last night.

What matters is that she’d being treated now. She was still feverish late this afternoon but perked up right before bedtime. I hadn’t heard her speak many words in two days so it was nice to hear a bit of chatter this evening. I told her to sleep hard so that the “good guys” could wage their war and that maybe she’d wake up and would feel so much better in the morning.

Me? I learned something again today. I’m my child’s advocate and one of the only voices that can speak for her so I need to be vigilant about doing just that. I knew last night that “something wasn’t right” and I should have pushed harder then and there. I need to not doubt my mother’s intuition because it does exist; it’s the voice that whispers to me like I whisper to my children.

I’ve been reminded.

And hopefully, I will have good news to share tomorrow.

It took me awhile to recognize that something was amiss but eventually, I did. I don’t know when I realized that Greer had migrated to my bed but at some point, I opened my eyes to find her laying beside me. She was wide awake.

“Mommy, I’m firsty.”

I think I groaned. I wish now that I hadn’t.

It was still dark outside when I rolled out of bed for a cup of water for her. As I handed it over, my hand brushed her arm and I felt a wave of icy cold fear pass over my body.

She was on fire, burning up with fever again.

I raced downstairs for the thermometer–103.6
Same temperature she had when she was in the back of the ambulance.

I won’t lie, this time I was panicking; I was just so afraid of her having another seizure. As Charlie applied a cool cloth to her head, I called the paging service for my pediatrician.

And guess who’s on spring break??

I talked with another doc in the practice (after I woke him) who told me to bring the temp down immediately and told me that if I felt that I needed help, to take her to Urgent Care. By the time I returned to the bedroom, her temp was at 102. We gave her some medicine and decided to go back to sleep.

That was 6:18 this morning.

Fast forward to 11:00am: I’m schooling Chas, Charlie is invoicing, Creux is napping, Greer is laying on the couch resting alone. Rhyse is wandering. And thank God he was.

“Something is wrong with Greer. She’s can’t stop breathing weird.”

I knew before I saw her what I would find but some part of me thought maybe, just maybe, she was breathing “weird” because she just didn’t feel good.

When I reached her, she was in the final stage of her seizure. This one was much harder on her; she was nearly purple in the face from struggling to breath and her body was flexed and tense. She took a huge gasp of air. The sight of her colored so red made me want to just start screaming and not stop for a long, long time. Though doctors (and research) tell me that these seizures are not “harmful”, I can’t fight the worry that she will just stop breathing altogether.

I called for Charlie, he swooped in and picked her up, held her tight. She did not lose consciousness this time though was groggy and a bit disoriented. She looked terrible and I feared another episode was on its way.

We were out of medicine; I’d used the last of it at 6:00am.

She needed help and we determined that Charlie would take her to Urgent Care. I had made a doctor’s appointment for her at 2:00 but couldn’t wait for that and by that point, I wanted her at the hospital, anyway. He tried TWO Urgent Care facilities here in Westerville and could not get the help we needed. The first one said she needed to be seen at Children’s. The second place he went, Westerville’s branch of Children’s Hospital, didn’t open their Urgent Care until 3:00.

I thought I was going to spontaneously combust over the phone.

She was faring a little better while driving around with him and while they stopped for medicine at the pharmacy, I called my pediatrician’s office again and was told to go straight to Children’s and not to leave until someone checked her out.

My mom came to watch the kids, Charlie drove back home to pick me up, and we spent the next five hours at Children’s trying to figure out what was wrong with Greer.

Did you know that our Children’s Hospital has been ranked as one of the ten best in the country? There’s good reason for that.

As oxymoronic as it gets, we had a wonderful visit at the hospital, despite the long wait. We sat for almost two hours in the waiting room but once we got into the back, they took good care of us. We received lots of attention and time with the doctors–they were kind and accommodating and sweet with my girl. They brought her a Popsicle and some coloring pages of the Princesses to keep her busy while we waited and waited and waited.

We were immediately able to rule out ear infections and strep throat–two common childhood causes of high fevers. And the whole time we were sitting there, niggling in the back of my mind was the diarrhea/hair thinning thing. I had told Charlie in the car on the way up…I’m so worried that all these things–the fevers, the seizures, the diarrhea and hair loss are going to all add up to one thing with a terrible name. I worry that it’ll all come together, that the symptoms will begin to lead in one certain direction, and that it will be something that I don’t want in my life.

It does not appear that this is the case; the doctors that we saw at the hospital do not believe these issues are linked. Perhaps if anything, it was suggested that maybe her little system is just taxed from dealing with the whole bacteria/gut thing and is not performing at its best fighting off something viral. Because they believe that’s all that it is: a virus.

The febrile seizures–there’s nothing that can be done about them. It made me feel better when I searched google today and found that if a sibling has had them (Chas) then other siblings are likely to as well. She may have twenty more…or not another. There’s simply no telling. Do I think she’ll have more? Yes, unfortunately, I do.

And they ARE considered harmless, despite how they appear. I’ve been given a good bit of preparation on how to deal with them in the future and I feel…better… about handling the situations though I can’t say I’ll ever be fully prepared for another one. It’s so very hard to watch, to not be able to help or stop it, to have to wait for it to let her go and for her to come back to me.

For me, the worst thing isn’t even that she might have another seizure; it’s that she might have one and be alone. I can’t stand the thought of her in bed at night, going through it all by herself. I don’t think she is aware of seizing while it’s happening but surely, she must feel something, (perhaps a twinge of fear?) as it starts to grip her. She makes no sound–not a cry or a whimper so I am unable to know when she needs me. My only tip-off is the alarming change in her breathing pattern.

Thinking back to her on the couch alone today, with her family all so close but yet so far away makes me feel so terrible. I need to be there. While I hate to watch, I have to watch. I have to be close to her so that she knows she isn’t all by herself. I have to provide that comfort or it’ll break my heart. I know I can’t stay up all night and count her breaths…but I want to.

What I really want is for this all to just go away.

In the meantime, (while wishes are hopefully granted) my best defense is a good offense. Normally we don’t treat fevers immediately; we’ve always just let our sickies lounge and made sure they stay hydrated and restful but also put a lot of trust in the body’s need for fever, the body’s need for fight. Only when one of our kids is in great discomfort do we dose…except for Greer. For now, at the first sign of a fever, we’ll treat it. The quick rising fever triggers the seizure, and if I can prevent the spike, then I can help prevent the rest.

She’s sleeping now but not peacefully; she’s restless and keeps calling out for me. My bed will be her resting place tonight and I will take comfort in her nearness. I know I won’t sleep a wink. But at least I can watch over her. It’s the only thing that will make me feel better right now.

A big thank you going out to my mom, Shelly, Jenny, and Laura. Thanks for being there, thanks for filling in, thanks for helping with my kids.

Thanks also (again) to the many of you who left such supportive comments on last week’s seizure post, and to those who emailed, and called to check in. It means so very much to know that you care and that she is in your thoughts and prayers.

After two hours of waiting, we FINALLY make it back to triage:

Greer, my love, these are drastic measures for a little bit of one-on-one time :)

Parents magazine got it right–this hospital gets a high five from me! We received supurb care AND it was actually staffed by people who clearly love children! (I’m often amazed at how the grouchiest people around are the ones leading storytimes or park programs or workshops for kids– we no like those people! (Uh, because they are typically highly annoyed with at least ONE of my bunch, haha. Okay, make that two.))

Keeping busy with her daddy doing a picture search while waiting (and waiting) for the doctors:

My turn at entertaining–”Lady and the Tramp”:

Behold the POPSICLE, maker of smiles (it’s coming, it’s coming):

Mommy sneaks a kiss:

And a playful swipe at that delicious purple Popsicle…

Leads to…A SMILE! This is the first and one of the few from the entire day:

I was beyond thrilled for that one little impish grin; I needed that–a glimpse of my “regular” girl:

Oh, we were so tired, we waited for so very long. But happily, we were together.